It sounds like a lot, but it’s worth the time it takes. If you’ve never done an exercise like this, then you’re just like me.

It seems so simple, yet it reveals so much about who you are and what value you bring to the world. I was sitting at my 9-5 a few months ago wondering, “Why hasn’t my boss recognized me for all the value I bring to the table?” when I realized, I have been doing this all wrong.

If you’re anything like me, you have sought validation, recognition and acknowledgement from everyone in your life except for yourself. I consider myself a confident person most of the time, and with that, I have carried an attitude of “I can do anything.”

It took me years to realize that I was trying to prove that “I can do anything,” to everyone but myself. I was on a fast-track to burnout by proving myself to others without sitting down to truly understand the innate value, creativity, personality, and desires I bring to the world in a way that aligns me closer to my purpose.. for ME, not for the benefit of anyone else!

I needed a way to re-anchor. A way to convince myself that I can do anything, while accepting the fact that I don’t actually want to do everything. I want a life built in alignment with what I’m truly good at, what I love spending my time doing, in a place that brings me the utmost creativity, fills my cup, challenges me, and reassures that my purpose on Earth is unique, intentional, and specific to me.

Read that back again, sis.

And in the face of this most complicated, mind-boggling, head-exploding identity crisis, my wise mom made it really simple. Almost stupidly so.

And then I had another minor identity crisis over the fact that I was laboring over these questions when it really is so simple. Yikes.

So here are the lists I want you to put together. I want you to find your most comfortable, creative, inspired room, corner, or chair in your favorite place, put on some background music, grab a white board or a piece of paper or your computer, get ChatGPT ready, put on some lipstick or a spritz of cologne, grab your coffee, and get to work. This is really going to help you.

Note: These lists are intended to be done in the order outlined below. I give helpful notes and ask guiding questions to help you through each one. Good luck!

1. Write a list of your hard and soft skills.

This is the only one where you’re allowed to use AI/ChatGPT! I want you to write a list of all your hard and soft skills. There may be things you’re not thinking of, or things you don’t give yourself enough credit for. I don’t care if you can do it like an expert or you’ve done it a few times. As long as you are minimally proficient, I want you to write it down. As for ChatGPT, this was an awesome tool for this list. If you’re open, paste/upload your resume to ChatGPT and ask it to come up with a list of all of your hard and soft skills based on your resume. Once it gives you the answer, if you feel there’s more to it, ask it for more. It’s awesome.

To be clear, I want you to consider both hard and soft skills – anything from website development to client management to motivational to friendly. My skills are very professional in the sense that my hobbies are also skills used in my job. If your expertise is in white water rafting, then it’s going to look a lot different than mine, as you will have a totally different skillset and knowledge base. You may be an artist or an outdoorsman. Don’t feel like yours has to look like mine. This is a database of who you are – what you love and hate, what you enjoy, what you’re good at, what you can do! Consider times when friends or family members have told you, “you know, you’re really great at that,” and it’s maybe even surprised you. Include those things, too.

If you don’t have a resume, and your profession or interests don’t require one, that’s fine. Use ChatGPT to type in all your interests and hobbies – for example, “I love talking to people, networking, making connections, I have great customer service skills and enjoy being outside, teaching people, etc. I love fishing, hiking, and I’m a great writer. What types of skills do I have?”

Get specific, go crazy. I made notes next to skills where I had varying levels of proficiency. I don’t want you to under or oversell yourself in this, and it goes a long way to just be honest, even if you exaggerate to others sometimes.

Make sure you cross-check your ChatGPT list. Be honest and real so we can get down to the bottom of what you should be doing with your life.

Here’s an example of my list:

People Management

Project Management

Account Management

Business Development

Sales

Creative Strategy

Copywriting

Proofreading

Creative Direction

Book Concept Development

Book Authorship

Asana

Business Management & Operations

Team Building

Culture Consulting

AP Style

Adobe Creative Cloud (limited proficiency)

Video Production – Direction

Production Management

Graphic Desing (limited proficiency)

Web Design (limited proficiency)

Web Development (limited proficiency)

SEO (limited proficiency)

User Experience Strategy

Social Media Management

Content Strategy

Storytelling

Scriptwriting

Storyboarding

Leadership Consulting

Advertising

Creative Brainstorming

Management Functions

Hiring Strategy

Client Relations

Financial Forecasting

Recruitment & Team Leadership

Content Production (managing multimedia campaigns)

Strategic Consulting

Campaign Management

Speech Coaching & Ghostwriting

Cold Calling & Networking

Event Representation

Brand Development

Team Development & Mentorship

High-Level Leadership

Communications & PR (limited proficiency)

Customer Journey Analysis and Direction

Strategic, Innovative, Problem Solver

Business Expansion Mindset

Strong Communicator

Client Management

Continuous Learning

Thought Leadership

Focus On Deliverables

2. Write a list of what you would love to spend your time doing.

Ok, so now that you have your full list of skills written down, I want you to think about from that list, what you love to do. Things narrowed down pretty quickly for me. Keep in mind, these are items from your original skills list, and it should not includes things that are so-so, that you don’t mind, or that you dislike. Get strict, strip it down to the bare bones – what would you LOVE if you could do it every day or most days.

Here’s an example of mine:

Creative Strategy

Creative Direction

Book Concept Development

Book Authorship

Podcasting

Business Management & Operations

Team Building

People Management

Adobe Creative Cloud (limited proficiency)

Video Production – Direction

Content Strategy

Storytelling

Storyboarding

Leadership Consulting

Advertising Creative

Creative Brainstorming

Management Functions

Client Relations

Team Leadership

Strategic Consulting

Campaign Management/Development

Speech Coaching & Ghostwriting

Brand Development

Team Development & Mentorship

High-Level Leadership

Strategy, Innovation, Problem Solving

Business Expansion

Client Management

Continuous Learning

Thought Leadership

Give Presentations

3. Write a list of what you would like to spend your time doing.

Next, with reference to your list of skills, write a list of what you would like to spend your time doing. This is going to be different than the “love list.” So, of what you left off of your love list, what would you not mind doing every day or most days. Note: this does not include things you really dislike or hate.

Here’s an example of my list:

Project Management

Account Management

Copywriting

Proofreading

Asana

Production Management

Web Design (limited proficiency)

Web Development (limited proficiency)

Scriptwriting

Hiring Strategy

Content Production (managing multimedia campaigns)

AP Style

Create Presentations

Graphic Design (limited proficiency)

Customer Journey Analysis and Direction

User Experience Strategy

Culture Consulting

4. Write a list of what you would strongly dislike doing.

This should be an easy one. We may not know what we like to do, but we sure know what we hate. This should also be different than the previous two lists – likely what’s left from your skills list that hasn’t been used. Have you done something before that you never want to do again in your job or with friends? Have you never done something but know you never want to? Are you stuck doing something in your job every day that you just despise? Write it down!

Here’s an example of my list:

Cold Calling & Networking

Event Representation

Communications & PR (limited proficiency)

Focus On Deliverables

Financial Forecasting

Business Development

Sales

SEO (limited proficiency)

Social Media Management

Recruitment

5. Write a list of things that make you feel fulfilled/give you purpose.

This might be tough, but we’re getting to the fun part. What’s in your heart? What do you love to do, but feel embarrassed sometimes to admit? Do you act like a confident career woman when you really get fulfillment from staying home with your kids? Do you pretend to be what the world says is valuable, instead of just painting every day like you really want to do?

Can you think of any moments in your day, job, or relationships where you get a tug of the heartstrings or feel really good about yourself?

This is broader than your skills, these are moments, emotions, experiences that have brought you sincere fulfillment and have helped to create a sense of purpose.

Here’s an example of my list:

Problem-Solving (Teams, Creative Problems, Business Issues)

Helping People

Bringing A Great Idea/Bringing a Fresh Perspective

Being a Future Mom

Writing (specifically in narrative form)

Being A Leader

Leadership Consulting/Business Consulting

Being Heard and Respected for My Opinions/Expertise

Giving A Successful Presentation

Mentorship/Meaningful Management of People

Being Busy/Feeling Important in My Field

Encouraging Others

Inspiring Others (especially through personal anecdotes/my writing)

Making Money

When People are Struck by My Writing Ability and Authenticity

Collaborating with People

Being the Boss

Talking About My/Others’ Life Experiences

6. Write a list of what you want your dream day-to-day/life to look, feel, and sound like.

You’ve arrived at my favorite part. Again, this is going to branch out from the original skills list, which is more intended for you to think, know everything you’re capable of, and what you do now that you don’t like, or wish you did more.

This is the part where you dream. No one has to see this list, so just put it all out there. Dump what’s on your heart on a page. Own it, sister. This is YOU. It only matters that you love it.

Here’s an example of my list:

Writing – but not all day, every day

Playing With My Kids/being an active parent – but not all day, every day

Spending Time with My Kids During the Day – meals, crafts, imaginative play

Having An Influence in My Kid’s Early Upbringing vs Daycare

Talking to People

Teaching/Presenting

Helping Others/Coaching

Uses My Personal Experiences to Help Others

Creative/Design/Art – Either that I’m Doing Myself or Directing; a chance to see things in my brain come to life; new business ideas, new creative ideas, interior design, crafts and projects

Storytelling – written or visual

Having A Great Home Office – cozy, chic, inspiring

Podcasting in a cool area of my house – or even a cool studio one day!!

Not being stuck in an office every day – maybe having a hybrid situation – only going to an office if it’s for a business I own

Encouraging Others/Role Modeling

Tapping into My Empath Abilities/Sharing Wisdom/Sharing Experiences

Not working so hard every hour of the day, but getting my energy out through a business, creative idea, family time – staying busy-ish but not burned out and overworked/overstimulated

Having real balance, freedom, flexibility

Drinking coffee and enjoying slow, quiet mornings with my kids

Busy afternoons, creative time in the evenings

Cooking for my family – prioritizing good, healthy food

I hope this exercise helped you as much as it helped me. It’s not meant to give you all the answers, but I promise the ideas and motivation to create the life you actually want will be sparked from this exercise. I had to open a separate document to write down all the ideas I began to have while doing this. Believe in yourself, understand how capable you are, believe in the value you bring to the world, and help your skills and experiences align you closer to your purpose and what fulfills you.